So not that long ago I wrote about my crush on a ‘woman’ at work. Well I still might sort of have a crush but the whole situation has taken a bizarre turn.
You noticed that I put the word ‘woman’ in quotes, well that’s because the “woman” at work that I have a crush on is actually a transgender man. He confessed this to me an few days ago, while alone at the service desk at work. He told me he is not ‘out’ because it easier to get hired as a woman. He is pre-everything therefore he still looks very much like what a ‘woman’ is supposed to. The next day came out as gay(he likes men). So now I have a crush on a gay trans man. This has been a very strange experience for me. We are becoming pretty good friends so I support him but it has been hard as I feel like I’m insulting him all the time because i say “she’ a lot when talking about him, but generally I see him at work and he’s pretending to be a girl there so it can be extremely confusing. The strangest aspect to this whole situation it the fact that I still have a crush on him. I’m gay so it makes this whole thing weird to me. Maybe I’m still seeing him as ‘her’, which is making me feel guilty, because I should be respecting him as a man and as a gay man. I guess feelings don’t just turn off the second someone tells you they’re not the gender you thought they were, or that they are not attracted to the gender you are currently.
Anyways, this was just a bit of rambling on the strangeness going on in my life right now.
A journey through my consciousness 
I believe human is human, attraction knows no ‘category’ we place ourselves in. I’m a transman myself, but I hate to label myself into that category. I prefer to think of myself as a straight guy (which unfortunately is still a label). Society is evolving, hopefully one day it will be an all-inclusive one not based on sexual orientation and gender binaries!
I’m not a fan of labels myself, but to live in a world without labels may not necessarily be a good thing. For good or worse, our labels are what make us unique.
Labels are still words, and to have a word describe yourself can help validate your existence and help you find others like yourself.
yeah, i would say that is a bizarre turn of events. I can imagine how difficult it is to use proper pronouns especially since he’s a she at work but a he elsewhere. If that made sense. I imagine it is confusing for him as well. It sounds like you guys have a very open and honest friendship and those are pretty hard to come by. So maybe the crush isnt going to work out but sounds like you have found a very good friend in the process.
Your right, I think the more we hangout outside of work, the easier it will be. I just hope he gets to come out soon. Pretending to be something your not isn’t healthy.
So consider yourself pansexual. You are attracted to the person regardless of gender.
I’m not sure if that is the correct assumption. Right now he looks like a slightly masculine woman, he fits in to the mold of what I find attractive. Who’s to say after surgery and hormone treatments, and him losing the last of his physical femininity, that I will still be attracted. For me, the only difference between friends and people I have relationships is the sexual attraction.
Attraction is such a funny thing. I’m actually attracted more to black men, but ended up falling in love with my white husband. But I also ended up falling in love with someone online, sight unseen (who happens to be black). The female I have a crush on is white with blonde hair, and I never cared for blondes.