So not that long ago I wrote about my crush on a ‘woman’ at work. Well I still might sort of have a crush but the whole situation has taken a bizarre turn.
You noticed that I put the word ‘woman’ in quotes, well that’s because the “woman” at work that I have a crush on is actually a transgender man. He confessed this to me an few days ago, while alone at the service desk at work. He told me he is not ‘out’ because it easier to get hired as a woman. He is pre-everything therefore he still looks very much like what a ‘woman’ is supposed to. The next day came out as gay(he likes men). So now I have a crush on a gay trans man. This has been a very strange experience for me. We are becoming pretty good friends so I support him but it has been hard as I feel like I’m insulting him all the time because i say “she’ a lot when talking about him, but generally I see him at work and he’s pretending to be a girl there so it can be extremely confusing. The strangest aspect to this whole situation it the fact that I still have a crush on him. I’m gay so it makes this whole thing weird to me. Maybe I’m still seeing him as ‘her’, which is making me feel guilty, because I should be respecting him as a man and as a gay man. I guess feelings don’t just turn off the second someone tells you they’re not the gender you thought they were, or that they are not attracted to the gender you are currently.
Anyways, this was just a bit of rambling on the strangeness going on in my life right now.
A journey through my consciousness 